so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize