At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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