mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
50% drunk capacity currently
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
