So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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