Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
