On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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