My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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