you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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