My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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