I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
