i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
