i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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