i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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