I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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