Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Randomize
