He uses pillows to masturbate.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize