he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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