Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
