This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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