I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
