I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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