If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
