And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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