i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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