Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize