I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
