I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
