We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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