whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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