Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I love you. Go after that dick
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
