Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
