In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
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But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
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There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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