I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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