I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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