He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
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he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
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I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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