come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize