Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
So much rum. So many feels.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
