Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
