Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
