It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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