Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
