sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
