Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
