I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
