I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i think my tv is drunk
I faked an abortion last night.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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