how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Randomize
