The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
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Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
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This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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