Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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