he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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