Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
