this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
