someone owes me an orgasm
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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