I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
