i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
