i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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