the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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