I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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