One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
