ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Randomize
