I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
