drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize