i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I love you. Go after that dick
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
