Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize