Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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